Every single day we appear to look for validation from others to make ourselves feel positive, worthy or to simply feel that we are enough.
We look for every opportunity surrounding us to fill us with this validation, whether it’s social media love and likes, feedback from our bosses, titles and letters after our name or kind words from family and friends.
Now, feedback is great, when it’s constructive and can help us progress in life. Positivity and encouragement can be a great motivator in helping us reach our goals in life, whether that is in our career or personal life. However relying too heavily on this feedback can leave us feeling hollow and worthless.
How often do you ask yourself, how are you today? How often do you check in with yourself? Would that number be equal to the number of times that you check in with face book, twitter or Instagram?
How often do you congratulate yourself, give yourself a well done, or give yourself kind and encouraging words? Or even some deserved time out?
Do you need to win awards, receive comments on social media, have acknowledgment from others arounds you on your achievements to feel validated and enough? These are all fantastic things to have and receive however don’t let that define your worth, and who you are. Let that type of feedback be the icing on the cake.
You need to be the foundation of your own validation. It is so vital for you to start believing that first and foremost, you are enough. If you are taking steps to learn, grow and develop in whatever you choose then give yourself credit and encouragement along the way. Be your own cheerleader, have your own back and root for yourself.
Everything is very accessible and available to view especially because of social media, so it is very easy to get consumed by what others are doing, looking at their successes, looking at your own progress, comparing, looking at how many followers and likes you may have and often as a result feeling like you aren’t enough.
This can then trigger into insecurity, anxiety, lack of self worth, stress, low self esteem and none of these will serve you any purpose. If however you began to plant the seeds of validating your self, loving yourself, and being your own cheerleader then when you encounter any set backs or ‘comparing-itis’, it won’t have the power to knock you down. Instead you will have that inner strength to continue your journey, be inspired and see any obstacles as a diversion to a better route.
I too am often guilty of the above and needing external validation, however I now am very quickly aware of when I am doing that. That overwhelming feeling that used to engulf me with everything I had to appear to have in terms of presence, qualifications, feedback now can be stopped very quickly. I check into myself, how unique I am (after all there is no one else in the world like me), my progress, commitment and give myself credit… and usually a coffee. Once I’ve re-centred myself I can continue forward in my own journey as you can too, strong, powerful and determined as ever.